Questions

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blow job: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.
Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean. Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers? A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q.) What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

Bright boy and the 'Lover'

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her
husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year
old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came
home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the
closet.
The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm
going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"

crazy world - Grandma grandma grandma!!!!

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her
grandma to know. One day, the police raided a
whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel,
and Lulu was among them. The police took them
outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway
when suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by and saw her
granddaughter.
Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"
Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Lulu told her
grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free
oranges and she was just lining up for some.
"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself,"
and she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from
all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered ! and exclaimed
"Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it? "
"I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them
dry."..
The policeman fainted.

HEAT PUMP

 

Nature created mankind, but with the advancement of technology, man is now trying to recreate nature. This may have its own advantages and disadvantages, but nowhere is this struggle more evident than in the field of environmental control for our inhabited interior spaces. The human body is dependent on external factors like the surrounding temperature: extremes of heat or cold cannot be easily accepted. In order to control the environmental temperature, men have tried and applied many inventions, and the heat pump is quite significant among them. In fact, the heat pump could be considered the heart of almost all HVAC applications.

Heat Pumps

In General A heat pump is basically a device that carries the thermal energy from a source away to a sink. It is devised in such a way that it can work in both directions, i.e. it can make a hot region cool and make a cool region hot. The application of the heat pump is dependent on the area in which it is used. The heat pump does not displace the thermal energy all by itself. This is carried out by a medium (mostly refrigerants) which is handled by the heat pump. Heat pumps usually find their application as whole-house heating and air conditioning systems. When switching from heating to cooling (and vice versa), the heat pump keeps its standard configuration. Only some of the internal components are switched to provide the varying results. The point to remember is that the heat pump is basically nothing but a heat exchanger, capable of exchanging thermal energy.

Every pump tends to have an efficiency, which is normally defined as the ratio between the work done by the pump compared to the energy supplied to the pump. The efficiency of the heat pump is termed the co-efficient of performance.

Components of a Heat Pump

The four main components of a heat pump are the compressor, condenser, expansion valve, and evaporator. Each component has its own importance and their strategic placement can used to build various applications like refrigerators, etc. (One interesting application of heat pump technology are the new hybrid heat pump/heating element water heaters entering the market.

Compressors act on the carrying medium (refrigerants) in order to change its pressure level, i.e. from low pressure to high pressure. The change in pressure helps in the absorption or the release of the thermal energy from the refrigerant. The condenser re-condenses the refrigerant or the medium enabling it to release or absorb the thermal energy and return to a liquid state.

The expansion valve is the pressure reducing device. When high- pressure, medium-temperature refrigerant goes through the expansion valve, its pressure quickly reduces and the temperature drops. The refrigerant is then in a mixed liquid and gaseous state.

The evaporator is normally the sink where the thermal energy collected from the source, i.e. the condenser (in the case of a heat pump), is dumped.

Applications for Heat Pumps

There are many systems in which the heat pump tends to work as the heart of many different types of HVAC systems. For example, geothermal heating is one area. Geothermal heating utilizes the heat stored within the earth for heating the home in colder places. This is in a way a very effective and efficient way of conserving energy.

Apart from using heat pumps based on such natural resources as the heat in the air and the ground, there are other means of using heat pumps to do required work. One such application is the reversal of an air conditioning system to work as a heat pump for heating a home. The system thus reversed would be an interesting experiment that should surely work and provide a real know-how on how things work inside a heat pump system.

From : www.brighthub.com/engineering/mechanical/articles/126302.aspx   

Total Jerk Off

A judge ordered a California man — convicted for ejaculating into a co-worker’s water bottles — to pay more than $27,000 to his victim.

Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm said Monday Michael Kevin Lallana, of Fullerton, Calif., must pay restitution for therapy and loss of wages, reports the Orange County Register.

Lallana was sentenced to 180 days behind bars after he was convicted of twice putting semen in his co-worker’s water bottle without her knowledge at a Newport Beach, Calif., financial company last year.

The victim sent the water bottle in for testing because it tasted strange, and the water was found to contain semen.

The jury found Lallana, 32, committed the acts for sexual gratification.

He should be committed to a freak’in hospital!

Egerton University Graduation 2011

1. Date


Egerton University wishes to inform ALL candidates who qualified for the conferment of variuos degrees and award of diplomas of Egerton University during the 2010/2011 academic year that the Graduation Ceremony will take place on Friday 25th November , 2011 starting at 9.00 Am at Njoro campus. ALL GRADUANDS AND GUESTS SHOULD BE SEATED BY 8.30 A.M


2. REHEARSAL


All graduands who wish to participate in the ceremony and have paid all fees must attend the rehersal on Thursday, 24th November 2011 at 2.30 P.M. All graduands attending the rehearsal should be seated by 2.00 P.M. Each graduand will be provided with three invitation cards. The cards will be issued by the Deans of respective Faculties on 23rd November 2011.


3. GRADUATION AND ALUMNI ASSOCIATION FEES


Graduands will be required to pay the following fees of which Kes. 200/= will be Alumni fees. These fees must be paid at any branch of the Kenya Commercial Bank into Egerton University Account No. 1108550703 and an official receipt obtained at the Njoro cash office before Thursday 24th November 2011


PhD Kes. 4,000/=


Masters Kes. 3,500/= 


Postgraduate Diploma Kes. 3000/=


Bachelors Kes. 3000/=


Diploma Kes. 3000/=


4. ACADEMIC DEGREES


During the ceremony, all graduands will be required to be in full academic attire for the occassion . Graduands are required to complete relevant forms before 24th November 2011. The forms will be available at the respective deans offices at the Njoro campus with effect form Monday 21st November 2011. All hired gowns must be returned by Thursday 8th December 2011 after which a daily penalty of Kes. 300/= will be charged.


Laikipia University college, Kisii University college and Chuka University college graduands will collect forms as well as pay the fees and collect gowns from Njoro campus during the said dates.


Any enquiries may be addressed to the undersigned through email: raca@egerton.ac.ke or Tel: +254-51-2217932